Mark “The Great One” Unsheathes Sword and Splatters Joe Scarborough.

Don’t you get it, yet? How many times do you have to get cut before you stop putting your hand through the window, libbies? They obviously haven’t realized that the field is littered with rhetorical hit pieces that have been skewered with lightning speed and surgical precision. It’s pretty much automatic. Here’s how it works:

You write a hit piece on Sarah and you are whacked.

Sarah Palin’s army will carve your heart out if you even look at her the wrong way. When you take a shot at Sarah, you might as well just look up at the camera like Wile E Coyote, hand Conservatives4Palin the rhetorical gun and stick up a sign that says “bye.”

Lately, Sarah’s been handling a lot of her own light work. And when she does, she’s a badass (and a smart ass, too). It’s not a good day in the hideout when Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck have you tied to a chair and she says “Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Not smart, Johnny.” You can picture Marlon Brando patting Jonathan Martin on his cheek as he says those words. That’s not good.

And don’t piss off Mark Levin either. Joey Sack of Bullcrap learned that quickly today on Morning Zoo. His attack on Sarah Palin this morning was met with an instant belting from the Great One. If the battles of broadcast journalism were physical, Joe Scarborough would have a big shiner to show for opening his mouth about our great Sarah.

Why we talking so tough? This is not like conservatives to get their hands dirty. We go to church. We work. We raise families. But this is survival.

You see, these guys want us dead. Rush Limbaugh told us that. This blogger has told you that. Barack Obama has told us that. The only choice we had was to engage and beat them at their own game or die. Playing by the old rules (you know civility, proper speech, holding a title) got us killed in 2008. McCain’s campaign “geniuses” told him to pull his punches and stay moderate and Sarah Palin nearly got her ass blown off because of it.

We’re smarter than them now. We’re faster than them. Most of all, we’re righter (more correct that is) than they are. Why not have some fun and marginalize and ridicule them. It’s not two rights make a wrong. It’s if someone’s hitting me, I have to hit them back.

When they talk about killing cracker babies, when they beat up a button seller at a rally, when they put your tax blemishes online, when they rig voting machines to vote for Harry Reid, when they tell you to sit in the back and when they say they want to punish you, that’s when you bring out the Thrilla from Wasilla to kick some ass. Sarah’s not a mean girl. She’s just awesome.

For far too long, the GOP has been lead by wussies who talk nicey nice and stick to the issues. That’s fine and dandy once the adults are back in charge and we can make the rules again. But until then, the liberals own the board. But they won’t own it for much longer.

Time, Klein, Scherer and Ignorami

It's a shame that the world is crumbling around liberals and their once respected publications. Time and Life used to be the two biggest magazines that stood out on every Newsstand in America. Life died after everyone got bored of it and  Time today wouldn't even make it on the toilet paper roll, never mind underneath the stack of papers in the recyclable bin. Why is this? Because they have idiots, yes I said it, idiots whose intellectual elitism has taken them so full circle that not only are they able to construct complex sentences, they now can construct complex sentences into stupid stuff.

"There is something profoundly diseased about a society that idolizes its ignoramuses and disdains its experts," says the disdained Joe Klein.

The society is not diseased, Joe. You are. Who the frig are you to imply, infer or express disdain? The experts have led us to trillions of dollars in debt. We don't drink from garden hoses anymore, build cars that you can actually work on, and we are incapable of running a business without having to have a team of accountants, lawyers and consultants to guide us through the mazes of bureacuratic nightmares and regulations. Who got us ignorami here? Well, you experts of course.

Those who can't tolerate common sense obviously are tormented in their own mind and will take to the swampland to expel those thoughts. I don't want to know what a genius like Joe Klein has to say. I want to know what the guy who put sealant into my friend's power steering pump and got it to stop leaking has to say. There's more practicality to gettin' er done than sitting around talking about it from high.

Once a publication that sat on the coffee tables of comfortable Americans and in waiting rooms across doctor and dentist offices across our country, time ticks down to its final days. Life died years ago when people started making things up instead of reporting it, even in its most realistically boring forms.

Here's how intellectual and intelligent the readers of Time are. Those who pass the Grey Poupon to each other and feed at the tray of the golden elite, have this to write and these comments to add. Mike Scherer's intellectual elitism really brings out the brains of his readers.

"Dropping an A Bomb on the US would be less disastrous than having Sarah as POTUS," writes one intellectually inspired commenter.

Are you telling me that the neanderthal nuckle draggin supporters of Palin are lower than that?

If you guys are the experts, I'd prefer to be the ignoramus, thank you.

Blood on the Keyboard

Greta Van Susteren offered a great rhetorical line last night on her show when talking about the Twitter feud between Alan Grayson and Sarah Palin. "There's blood on the keyboard" between them, she said .

The keyboard, as you know, is the rhetorical sword. So the clanging you heard went like this:

To which Grayson responded:

Greta has more on her blog.

The feud started on March 12th, 2010 when Palin criticized Grayson in a speech and he responded by calling her a "wild Alaskan dingbat."

The Hill covered the story:

The [wild Alaskan dingbat] comments come in response to Palin's speech at a Republican fundraiser in his home district on Friday.

At the time, Palin had this to say:

"[W]hat can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won't say anything about Alan Grayson that can't be said around children. But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That's what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson. Please fight hard, and do this for the rest of the country. Fight hard, and send a conservative to Washington, DC."

Grayson responded with a snarky email to supporters.

"I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them," he said.

The email continues: "Scientists are studying Sarah Palin's travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.

This, of course, comes from the man who became unhinged on the House floor when he told people that Republican's idea of health care reform was for sick people to "die. Die quickly." He also called a female lobbyist a K Street whore.

Sarah Palin has not been shy in expressing her dislike for Congressman Grayson ever since then. And Grayson has had no problem with smacking women with whom he disagrees, even if  he is just doing it rhetorically.

Was Alan Grayson ever in a mental institution? Hmmm, the Wasilla Shakespeare flexes her literary muscles again when she refers to Grayson as "troubled." But Sarah Palin is truly a better person than I am. I would have used the phrase "funny farm."

Satan's Little Helpers

Look into your eyes

Gotta love those Alaska bloggers!

Burn, baby, burn.

Our Newest Warrior

Is this lady just right out of the Unsheathed meme or what?

In a land controlled by Barack the Barbarian and home of his vice lord Joe the Biden, the Senate seat once occupied by Joe the Biden is being contested. This battle pits a Republican overlord sympathetic to many of the causes of Barack against against an unexpected challenge from a commoner who has longed to become a chevaleresse. Though Mike the Castle claims to be on our side, there are many who believe he is a liberal sympathizer. He served in the "Congressional army" where he many times was seen giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

The insurgent forces within the Tea Party army found that they were able to oust Lisa the Murky from her Senate seat in Sarah the Great's home state of Alaska. Murky was part of the aristocracy and obtained the seat because of the fiefdom that she was from. This did not go over well with the commoners who selected Joe the Miller to do their bidding. With the help of Sarah the Great, Joe the Miller defeated Lisa the Murky in a long bloody battle. As the troops battled late into the night, Sarah the Great called out "keep your powder dry" as the troops became impatient.

But the victory came and emboldened the troops. Those "in the Castle" began to fear that they would be ousted by the Tea Party insurgency next. They shot fire arrows at Christine the Commoner. They saw her as a threat because she had returned again to seek the seat even though she was badly defeated by Joe the Biden years earlier. Locals came to her aid. But moresoe, seeing how viciously Mike the Castle's people were treating her, the Tea Party army and its Palinista divisions instictively and without direction from above all showed up to assist Christine.

The Castle forces told the Tea Partiers that Christine was a lowly commoner who could barely scrape together the money to buy her own sword. She had owed taxes and was in financial trouble. But Christine pleaded with the Tea Partiers and the people and explained why she had such  problems. Because of her honesty and seeing that this whole smear campaign against her was really a ruse to stop her from exposing Mike the Castle as a RINO (the worst thing you can be if you are supposedly on our side), the Tea Partiers scoffed at Mike the Castle and said "pure or not, this fair maiden shall have this Senate seat."

Mark the Great One drew his sword and came to the lady's aid. Seeing the disgusting tactics of Mike the Castle, Mark challenged Castle to a duel. Castle never responded.

Blogger warriors and commanders of the heavy artillery like Mark the Great One spoke with Christine the Commoner to find out more about her. It turned out that she wanted to be a knight so bad that would seek the graces of none other than Sarah the Great.

Sarah stood on the sideline for a long time and hardly acknowledged the lady from Delaware. But Christine so desired to be officially knighted into the Sarah army that she called and wrote to Sarah. When she heard that Sarah would be speaking to the army in Washington, DC as they amassed to take the Capitol, Christine rode in and sought an audience with Sarah, which was granted. They talked briefly. Yet over a week went by and there was no word from Sarah. Christine's people called out to Sarah, begging her to knight Christine.

As Christine sat amongst her army, she lamented. Why would Sarah not come to her aid? Was Sarah worried that what was being said about Christine could be true? Christine was devoted to Sarah. Seeing her devotion, the Palinista army came. Something must be done. Without Sarah's help, Christine would lose.

The Palinista army and the Tea Party army decided that they would help Christine no matter what. They poured in support for her.

Tammy the Bruce got wind of what was going on and sent a message to Mark the Great One telling him that we needed to focus on this battle. Sarah intercepted the message but said no more. However, she in apparent agreement with the message showed it to her followers. Christine took it as a "you go, girl" but it was not an official endorsement.

What did this mean? Was Sarah going to knight Christine? Christine saw hope and asked for prayers that Sarah the Great would come to her aid. This scribe sent a message to Tammy the Bruce. But she must have been sworn to secrecy, and knowing that the answer was forthcoming, did not respond.

Then it happened.

Sean the Hannitizer was preaching to his flock yesterday afternoon and received a surprise call from Sarah the Great. Always honored to speak with her Greatness, Sean immediately took the call and started talking about the issues. Then he raised the question. What about Christine the Commoner?

Sarah the Great endorsed her and threw her support completely behind Christine. The conversation immediately was tweeted throughout the land. The news spread like wild fire, the armies cheering in joy. Christine heard the news and was overwhelmed with joy. She sent messages to Sarah thanking her and praising her.

"Thank you for your clear confidence in my candidacy," Christine cried out to Sarah.

Later that day, Sarah the Great officially knighted Christine the Commoner on her Facebook page.

And now the forces amass for battle as they prepare to storm the Castle and show the RINOs that we are going to put our people in seats where they fail to stand and deliver.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet our newest warrior. Christine the Commoner, we now dub thee Lady O'Donnell.