Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Mark “The Great One” Unsheathes Sword and Splatters Joe Scarborough.

Don’t you get it, yet? How many times do you have to get cut before you stop putting your hand through the window, libbies? They obviously haven’t realized that the field is littered with rhetorical hit pieces that have been skewered with lightning speed and surgical precision. It’s pretty much automatic. Here’s how it works:

You write a hit piece on Sarah and you are whacked.

Sarah Palin’s army will carve your heart out if you even look at her the wrong way. When you take a shot at Sarah, you might as well just look up at the camera like Wile E Coyote, hand Conservatives4Palin the rhetorical gun and stick up a sign that says “bye.”

Lately, Sarah’s been handling a lot of her own light work. And when she does, she’s a badass (and a smart ass, too). It’s not a good day in the hideout when Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck have you tied to a chair and she says “Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. Not smart, Johnny.” You can picture Marlon Brando patting Jonathan Martin on his cheek as he says those words. That’s not good.

And don’t piss off Mark Levin either. Joey Sack of Bullcrap learned that quickly today on Morning Zoo. His attack on Sarah Palin this morning was met with an instant belting from the Great One. If the battles of broadcast journalism were physical, Joe Scarborough would have a big shiner to show for opening his mouth about our great Sarah.

Why we talking so tough? This is not like conservatives to get their hands dirty. We go to church. We work. We raise families. But this is survival.

You see, these guys want us dead. Rush Limbaugh told us that. This blogger has told you that. Barack Obama has told us that. The only choice we had was to engage and beat them at their own game or die. Playing by the old rules (you know civility, proper speech, holding a title) got us killed in 2008. McCain’s campaign “geniuses” told him to pull his punches and stay moderate and Sarah Palin nearly got her ass blown off because of it.

We’re smarter than them now. We’re faster than them. Most of all, we’re righter (more correct that is) than they are. Why not have some fun and marginalize and ridicule them. It’s not two rights make a wrong. It’s if someone’s hitting me, I have to hit them back.

When they talk about killing cracker babies, when they beat up a button seller at a rally, when they put your tax blemishes online, when they rig voting machines to vote for Harry Reid, when they tell you to sit in the back and when they say they want to punish you, that’s when you bring out the Thrilla from Wasilla to kick some ass. Sarah’s not a mean girl. She’s just awesome.

For far too long, the GOP has been lead by wussies who talk nicey nice and stick to the issues. That’s fine and dandy once the adults are back in charge and we can make the rules again. But until then, the liberals own the board. But they won’t own it for much longer.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Time, Klein, Scherer and Ignorami

It's a shame that the world is crumbling around liberals and their once respected publications. Time and Life used to be the two biggest magazines that stood out on every Newsstand in America. Life died after everyone got bored of it and  Time today wouldn't even make it on the toilet paper roll, never mind underneath the stack of papers in the recyclable bin. Why is this? Because they have idiots, yes I said it, idiots whose intellectual elitism has taken them so full circle that not only are they able to construct complex sentences, they now can construct complex sentences into stupid stuff.

"There is something profoundly diseased about a society that idolizes its ignoramuses and disdains its experts," says the disdained Joe Klein.

The society is not diseased, Joe. You are. Who the frig are you to imply, infer or express disdain? The experts have led us to trillions of dollars in debt. We don't drink from garden hoses anymore, build cars that you can actually work on, and we are incapable of running a business without having to have a team of accountants, lawyers and consultants to guide us through the mazes of bureacuratic nightmares and regulations. Who got us ignorami here? Well, you experts of course.

Those who can't tolerate common sense obviously are tormented in their own mind and will take to the swampland to expel those thoughts. I don't want to know what a genius like Joe Klein has to say. I want to know what the guy who put sealant into my friend's power steering pump and got it to stop leaking has to say. There's more practicality to gettin' er done than sitting around talking about it from high.

Once a publication that sat on the coffee tables of comfortable Americans and in waiting rooms across doctor and dentist offices across our country, time ticks down to its final days. Life died years ago when people started making things up instead of reporting it, even in its most realistically boring forms.

Here's how intellectual and intelligent the readers of Time are. Those who pass the Grey Poupon to each other and feed at the tray of the golden elite, have this to write and these comments to add. Mike Scherer's intellectual elitism really brings out the brains of his readers.

"Dropping an A Bomb on the US would be less disastrous than having Sarah as POTUS," writes one intellectually inspired commenter.

Are you telling me that the neanderthal nuckle draggin supporters of Palin are lower than that?

If you guys are the experts, I'd prefer to be the ignoramus, thank you.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Blood on the Keyboard

Greta Van Susteren offered a great rhetorical line last night on her show when talking about the Twitter feud between Alan Grayson and Sarah Palin. "There's blood on the keyboard" between them, she said .

The keyboard, as you know, is the rhetorical sword. So the clanging you heard went like this:

To which Grayson responded:

Greta has more on her blog.

The feud started on March 12th, 2010 when Palin criticized Grayson in a speech and he responded by calling her a "wild Alaskan dingbat."

The Hill covered the story:

The [wild Alaskan dingbat] comments come in response to Palin's speech at a Republican fundraiser in his home district on Friday.
At the time, Palin had this to say:
"[W]hat can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won't say anything about Alan Grayson that can't be said around children. But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That's what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson. Please fight hard, and do this for the rest of the country. Fight hard, and send a conservative to Washington, DC."
Grayson responded with a snarky email to supporters.

"I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them," he said.

The email continues: "Scientists are studying Sarah Palin's travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.
This, of course, comes from the man who became unhinged on the House floor when he told people that Republican's idea of health care reform was for sick people to "die. Die quickly." He also called a female lobbyist a K Street whore.

Sarah Palin has not been shy in expressing her dislike for Congressman Grayson ever since then. And Grayson has had no problem with smacking women with whom he disagrees, even if  he is just doing it rhetorically.

Was Alan Grayson ever in a mental institution? Hmmm, the Wasilla Shakespeare flexes her literary muscles again when she refers to Grayson as "troubled." But Sarah Palin is truly a better person than I am. I would have used the phrase "funny farm."