Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Waterboarding Todd Palin

Chris Kelly, writer for Real Time with Bill Maher and the Huffington Post, smells the bowels of his worst nature by portraying Todd and Sarah Palin as victims of interrogation tactics that Sarah Palin and George W. Bush believe we should use on terrorists in the same swing of the same sword in the same piece. The only flaw with the piece is that it only works if Todd and Sarah had also flown planes into buildings killing thousands of people or if the terrorists didn't. I'm sure the hate mongering from leftists like Kelly is just a mistake. Either that or it's pure intellectual dishonesty. Maybe it's just pure hypocrisy.

I'm sure such intellectually honest writers like that would be outraged if we on the right were suggesting that we stuff President Obama down the oil pipe. What if we started a new Facebook page "Plug the BP Oil Spill With Barack Obama?" See more here.

According to those who mentally hang with people like Kelly, all of Sarah Palin's supporters must be hate mongers, too. You'd think they write nasty blogs and accuse Barack Obama of not being the father of one of his children. They make fun of him because of how he dresses or where he gets his clothes. They are relentless in the way they attack him for quitting the Senate after only half a term. Imagine if Palin supporters wrote an article describing the waterboarding of Michelle Obama!

I bet you those hate mongers on the right want Obama to pay for flying his wife to New York or his children to Europe on our taxpayer dollar funded plane. I'm surprised they haven't gone as far as to make him pay per diem for that out of his own pocket. I wouldn't put it past them to file ethics complaints implying that he abused his power to offer high level jobs to Senate candidates in exchange for dropping out of races. Oh, the moral outrage the left would beseige upon them if they dared do that to their beloved one.

Is it possible that Obama supporters are inciting the hatred? How can that be? They're peace loving hippies left over from the 1960's. They hold hands and sing Kumbaya. They don't hate. They believe in hope and change and social justice for all. They don't like cruel countries. In fact, they apologize to the world when their country is cruel. They are enlightened. They are modern and sophisticated. They're tolerant. Look at how well they handle it when a prominent conservative hired a gay musician to perform at his wedding. The open-mindedness is staggering. Look at how they treat the first black man to be named chairman of the Republican party. These people are just truly models of "love thy neighbor as thyself."

And of course we can't help but be moved by their shining example of how they praised the Republican party for finally nominating a woman to be on the national ticket. Feminism, baby! I may just go out and buy a bag of weed and party with these guys. They are just sooooo cool!

You can't possibly be telling me that they are the ones inciting all the hate in this country? Say it ain't so, Joe. I know all you want to do is enjoy your new pad and write a book of poetry to serenade the pretty lady who lives next door. But she's mean to you and she writes bad stuff about you on her Facebook page. It has to break your little heart that she's not happy about you living there after all the nice things you wrote about her. And her mean husband? I can't figure it out either. I'd understand it if the guy was sick and tired of having people talk trash about his wife all the time or impuning her reputation. But no one in our transformed America - a Utopia of openness and transparency - would do that. I know you wouldn't do that, Joe.

Wasn't it just about a year and a half ago when the liberals' great leader told us to listen to our better angels and celebrated his election by saying this:
Young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled, Americans have sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of red states and blue states,” he said. “We have been and always will be the United States of America.
Ah, yes. The old aren't worried about death panels and the young aren't being forced to buy insurance. The rich aren't worried about having their wealth redistributed and the poor are just living large now (Penny has to be getting her mortgage and gasoline payments covered by now!). The races and people of different sexual orientations are living in pure harmony - just look at how the one gay guy judged a Miss America pageant when the straight girl gave her opinion on marriage (sheer tolerance I say!) or how the black guy was so nice to the cop who was checking up on him to make sure his house wasn't being robbed. Why, President Obama even celebrated the event by having a beer with them!

Children with special needs aren't being made fun of anymore (so glad the days of having someone's disabled child mocked on the internet are long gone). Republicans are treated with respect now - included in all negotiations and treated as partners in our government. And our red states and blue states are just living in bliss together. An open minded, tolerant and enlightened state would never boycott another state just because they wanted to protect its citizens. This is hope and change! Can you feel it?
The river sweats
Oil and tar
The barges drift
With the turning tide
Red sails
To leeward, swing on the heavy spar.
The barges wash
Drifting logs
Down Greenwich reach
Past the Isle of Dogs.
Weialala leia
Wallala leialala[1]
The oil fills the Gulf. The city in decay no longer shines.

Now tell me. Who really fucked up our country?
[1]T.S. Eliot The Waste Land

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